Somewhere along the way, someone handed you a picture of success. The right school. The right job. The right partner, house, car and neighborhood. Maybe you followed it for years, and maybe it never quite lit you up. Learning how to define success for yourself is the moment your life becomes your own.
This teaching draws on my book Seven Secrets to the Spontaneous Fulfillment of Your Heart’s Desires and on the career and alignment chapters of The Law of Delight. In this guide you will learn why borrowed definitions leave you flat, the clues your soul leaves for your true definition, how to move through the fear that comes with it, a real client story, and three practices to write and live your own version of success.
What Does Success Mean to You?
Success is personal. One person’s dream life is another person’s cage. My definition is simple: success is a life that delights you, with work, love, money and health that light you up and let you share delight with others.
Your definition may look completely different, and that is exactly the point. Only you can answer what success looks like for you. No one can answer it for you, and it is one of the most important things you will ever do for yourself.
Why You Need Your Own Definition of Success
Many of us grow up wanting what we believe we ought to want. We absorb expectations from parents, culture and the people around us:
- Going to the right school
- Getting a job with the right company
- Marrying the right person
- Buying a house in the right neighborhood
- Driving the right car and living the right lifestyle
- Rising in your career and doing what is expected
- Keeping your head down and accepting the status quo
Some of us rebel loudly, some rebel silently, and many eventually give in to make the people we love happy. Over time, passion for our dreams fades, and we lose sight of what excited us.
Living by someone else’s definition can leave you feeling flat inside. It may never ring your bell or get you leaping out of bed in the morning. That flatness is a message: your soul has its own definition waiting for you.
My Parents’ Version of Success, and Mine
In my parents’ version of my success, I married young, lived in a little suburban house close to family, drove a modest car and worked a modest job. I kept my head down, sewed, crocheted and cooked every night. I never turned my art into a business, because everyone knew artists starve. I never travelled far, never sold myself, never posted my picture online and never made waves. As a woman, I was taught to expect little and to stay in the shadows.
My version turned out wildly different. I travel. I create. I teach on stages and in front of cameras. I created businesses from nothing. And I delight in it. Their picture came from love and their own fears. Mine comes from my heart, and I honor both.
How to Define Success for Yourself: Follow the Clues
Your Inner Wise Self already holds the answer, and it leaves clues everywhere:
- Small delights. The little things that light you up on an ordinary day.
- Envy. What you see others achieving that stirs a pang inside you. Envy points at a desire you have yet to claim.
- Late-night wishes. What you quietly long for in your most private moments.
- Lost hours. The work or play that swallows time because you love it so much.
- Stories you light up telling. The achievements and moments you describe with sparkle in your voice.
Everything else is a distraction. Write your clues down for a week, and patterns appear fast.
A Client Story: Tina’s Divine Right Calling
Tina came to me after years in a job that paid well and drained her completely. She woke each morning with dread sitting in the pit of her stomach. Her days were spent pushing contracts across her desk alone, followed by tense meetings with executives who fought constantly.
I asked her two questions: “What is it about this that brings you delight?” and “What are you tolerating that makes you feel so sick?” At first she struggled to answer. Then an epiphany arrived. “I know what I love!” she said. She loved working with people, solving problems, mentoring a team and shaping a collaborative culture.
Together we reviewed her entire career history and pulled out every result and contribution that lit her up when she spoke about it. Then we wove them into what I call her divine right calling: a new career vision with more visibility and responsibility. When she read it, she said, “I can’t do that.” I pointed out that she had already done every single thing on the list, in different roles. We had simply brought it together.
I asked her to hold the vision to her heart and ask her higher self what it would feel like. The next day she called me, excited, describing a dream that felt completely real. Within three months she landed an executive role at a company that valued her talents, aligned with her passions and paid her one and a half times her previous salary.
Tina’s success began the moment she defined it for herself, even though it scared her a little.
Why Your True Definition Can Feel Scary
Once you glimpse what you really want, it can feel intimidating. It often means change. You may wonder whether you deserve it, or whether wanting it makes you selfish or materialistic. Old voices may whisper that a real spiritual person would want less.
I know this well. I had many business failures, and for years they left me feeling too vulnerable to admit what I truly wanted: financial success, so I could give back more to the world. That admission became a turning point.
Those heavy beliefs came from someone else. They are yours to release. Daring to want what you want takes courage and boldness, and you have both. Claim it. Then go further: delight in it. Celebrate what you want and let yourself revel in it.
Your Dreams Live Inside You
Your dreams live inside you, deep within. They are already as real and as tangible as you are. That is why defining success for yourself is so powerful: you are describing something that already exists within you, so it can unfold into your life.
Signs You Are Living Someone Else’s Definition of Success
- You reach goals and feel strangely empty afterward.
- Your life looks good on paper while your body feels tired and heavy.
- You explain your choices with “my parents always wanted” or “everyone expects.”
- You feel envy, quietly, when someone lives a bolder version of life.
- Sunday evenings fill you with dread.
- You catch yourself daydreaming about a completely different life.
Each sign is a gift. It shows you exactly where your own definition is trying to break through.
Define Success in Every Area of Your Life
Success is rarely one thing. Give each area of your life its own definition, written in the language of feeling:
Work and purpose
What kind of work makes you lose track of time? Who do you love serving? How much visibility, freedom and responsibility delights you?
Money
What amount, “or more,” would delight you? What would that money let you experience, create and give? Define success here as a feeling of ease and generosity, then name the number that matches it.
Love and relationships
How do you want to feel with the people closest to you? Seen, adored, free, playful, safe? Success in love is the presence of those feelings.
Health and body
How do you want to feel when you wake up? What would you love your body to be able to do? Let vitality and joy lead your definition.
Joy and play
How often would you love to laugh, explore and create just for fun? A successful life includes generous amounts of delight.
When you read all five together, you hold a definition of success that is unmistakably yours.
Practice One: The Mirror of Success
This practice comes straight from my book. It takes five minutes.
- Stand at your closest mirror. Look at yourself fully, up close, with no judgment.
- Touch your reflection. Notice that you cannot reach the person in the glass. This is how most people treat their dreams, as something reflected far away.
- Now touch your own face. Smile as if you are delighted to meet yourself. Stick out your tongue if you like. You are touching the real you, and the real you holds your dreams.
- Speak your definition. Say out loud: “Success for me is…” and finish the sentence three different ways.
- Feel it. Close your eyes and feel how a day lived by that definition feels in your body.
- Write it down. Keep your definition where you see it every morning, and speak it to your reflection morning and night.
Bioenergized healing tool
Manipura Solar Plexus Chakra Alchemy
Roll it over your solar plexus as you speak your definition of success. It awakens your personal power and the confidence to claim what you want.
$42
Practice Two: Your Success Inventory
Use the same method I used with Tina.
- List your highlights. Write every role, project and season of your life, and beside each one, the results and moments that lit you up.
- Circle the sparks. Mark the items you feel excited describing.
- Find the themes. Look for patterns such as freedom, creativity, leadership, connection, adventure or healing.
- Write your divine right calling. Combine the themes into one paragraph describing a life and work that use every spark.
- Hold it to your heart. Each night for a week, read it and ask your higher self to show you what living it would feel like.
Practice Three: The Core Desire Check
From The Law of Delight: as you move toward your definition, ask one question regularly, “Does this still delight me?” Definitions evolve as you grow. When the answer is yes, find a way to re-spark the joy. When it has changed, update your definition with love.
Journal Prompts to Define Success on Your Own Terms
- What does a perfect ordinary Tuesday look like in my successful life?
- Whose definition of success have I been living by?
- What would I pursue if no one would ever judge me for it?
- Which achievement am I proudest of, and why?
- How will I know I am successful? What will I feel?
Take One Inspired Step Each Day
Your definition comes alive through inspired action. Take a few steps each day toward the life you described. Some will stretch you, and that is good: you are showing yourself that you mean it.
You can keep your dream close at first. Let it grow inside you, feed it with delight every day, and share it when your belief is strong. That is where your unstoppable momentum begins.
Featured in this article
Your Mission I’m Possible: Discover Your Soul’s True Purpose
My masterclass, workbook and ebook for discovering your soul’s true purpose, so your definition of success comes straight from your heart.
$55
Ready to go deeper? Learn how to receive the desires of your heart with the Law of Delight.
Two Doors, Whenever You Are Ready
Read the full teaching free in my ebook Seven Secrets to the Spontaneous Fulfillment of Your Heart’s Desires. Or, if you want me to see your true definition of success with you and clear what stands in its way, book The Shift.
Private session with Isis
Seventy-five private minutes together. We uncover your own definition of success, clear the borrowed expectations, and you leave with your breakthrough. Recorded and yours to keep.
$333
Frequently Asked Questions
More answers live in the Manifesting FAQ. Every Law of Delight term is defined in the Law of Delight Glossary, and the Law of Delight Library holds every article by topic.
Listen on the podcast: 7 Simple Steps to Uplevel Your Life by This Weekend
How do you define success for yourself?
Follow your clues: what delights you, what you envy, what you wish for privately and what makes you lose track of time. Then finish the sentence “Success for me is…” three ways and notice which version lights you up. Dr. Isis Jade teaches that your true definition is the one that delights your heart.
How do you define success separate from societal expectations?
List the expectations you absorbed from family and culture, then ask of each one: does this delight me? Keep what delights you and release the rest. Those borrowed beliefs came from someone else and are yours to let go.
What is success according to you?
Dr. Isis Jade defines success as a life that delights you: work, love, money and health that light you up and let you share delight with others. Your own version may look completely different, and that is exactly the point.
Can your definition of success change over time?
Yes. Your definition grows as you grow. Revisit it each year, or whenever life feels flat, and let your current delights guide the update.
Why is defining success for yourself important?
When you define success for yourself, your choices align with your heart, your energy returns and your desires begin to unfold.
How do you define success in life?
Define success in the language of feeling across each area of life: work, money, love, health and joy. Ask what would delight you in each, then write a short definition for every area. Together they form your personal definition of success.
How do you define success for yourself professionally?
Review your career history and circle every result and moment that lit you up. Look for themes such as leadership, creativity, service or freedom, then describe the role and impact that would use every one of them. Dr. Isis Jade calls this your divine right calling.
What does success look like to you?
Picture an ordinary day in your most successful life: where you wake up, how you feel, what you create and who you share it with. That picture, rich in feeling, is what success looks like for you.
