Is desire bad? Desire is sacred. It is the creative force of the soul, the same impulse that brought the universe into being, moving through you as longing. Desire becomes painful when it is born from fear, lack or a wound, and the answer then is to clear the wound so the soul’s true desire can rise. Wanting itself is holy.
If you grew up being told that wanting is selfish, greedy or unspiritual, this answer may stir something in you. Let it. That stir is your own desire recognizing itself.
Let me show you how I came to see desire this way, and why I believe it is one of the most important truths you can reclaim.
Where the Fear of Desire Comes From
Think about the messages you absorbed about wanting. Were you told to be content with what you have? That good people put themselves last? That wanting money, pleasure or recognition makes you shallow?
These messages are everywhere. In families, in schools, in workplaces, and in some spiritual teachings too.
Over thirty years of studying more than ten thousand sacred and ancient texts, I noticed something. The deepest wisdom traditions honor longing. Mystics write of burning for the divine. Psalms speak of the desires of the heart as something to be given. Lovers in sacred poetry ache and reach and delight.
And alongside that, I found teachings that frame desire as dangerous, something to be distrusted and shrunk. When I looked at who those teachings served, a pattern appeared. A person who suppresses their own desires is easier to direct. They take what they are given. They stay small.
Suppression of desire is a framework that keeps people small. Your soul was made for more than that.
I write about this larger pattern in spiritual sovereignty. Reclaiming your desire is one of the most sovereign acts there is.
Desire Is the Creative Force of the Universe
The universe delighted itself into being. Delight is the primordial catalyst, the first spark. And desire is delight leaning toward form.
Picture it at the cosmic scale. Pure potential, everything possible, held in the zero point field. Then a movement. A wanting. Something leans toward existence. Stars ignite. Galaxies spiral. Life reaches toward light.
Now picture it in your own body. A seed of longing in your chest. A picture that will not leave you alone. A pull toward a place, a person, a creation. That is the same movement, at human scale.
Desire is sacred. It is a catalyst for quantum leaps. It is how your soul points toward the life it came here to create.
This is the heart of the law of intention and desire, and it sits close to the first universal law, the Law of Delight: “Delight yourself fully in life and you will be given the desires of your heart.”
The client who asked to want less
A client once came to me with a single request. They wanted to want less.
They had been taught that desire was the source of their suffering. If they could just stop wanting a bigger life, the ache would go away.
So we looked at the ache together. And the pain lived somewhere else entirely. It lived in years of wanting and then shutting the wanting down, over and over. The suffering lived in the suppression.
When the desire itself finally had permission to be named, everything softened. The desire was beautiful. It had been waiting a very long time.
I share this because I hear versions of it constantly. The pain people blame on desire usually lives in the gap between what the soul wants and what the person believes they are allowed to want.
The desire that carried me
In 1998 a doctor told me I would never walk again.
I remember the room. I remember the quiet after the words. And I remember something rising in me that was stronger than the fear: a fierce, clear, wholehearted desire to walk.
That desire did not make the injury my fault, and it did not make the road easy. Some things happen to us that are far beyond our control. What desire gave me was direction. Every day it pointed. Every small movement, every stubborn hour of practice, every moment of delight when something shifted, followed that one longing.
I walk. And I know in my bones what desire is. It is the soul refusing to forget what it came here to do. I tell the fuller story in how to overcome adversity.
Is Desire Bad? How to Tell Soul Desire From Wound Desire
All desire carries energy. The question worth asking is where a particular desire comes from.
Soul desire
Soul desire comes from your Giant’s Heart, the part of you that holds your soul, your delight and your mission. It feels expansive. Thinking about it brings warmth, excitement, sometimes tears. It is patient. It connects to how you want to live and who you want to serve. Even a very big soul desire feels like home.
Wound desire
Wound desire comes from the Tiny Mind, the part of you run by ego, fear and survival. It feels urgent and tight. It is often about proving something, escaping something, or filling a hole. When you imagine getting it, you feel relief more than joy. And when you get it, the hunger returns quickly.
Wound desires point to something real. Underneath “I need them to finally see me” is often a soul desire to be loved and known. Underneath “I need more money so I am never scared again” is often a soul desire for freedom and safety.
So treat a wound desire as a messenger. Thank it, follow it down to the original source, and let the soul desire underneath come into the light.
If you notice the same desire repeating painfully, read why do I keep repeating patterns. Repeated pain usually means a wound is asking to be seen.
Suppressed Desire and What It Costs You
Suppressed desires are the wants you have pushed down so long that you barely feel them anymore. The dream you stopped mentioning. The creative work you called a hobby. The longing you decided was unrealistic.
Suppression costs energy. Holding something down every day is tiring, even when you are unaware you are doing it. Many people who describe feeling flat or stuck are carrying a stack of suppressed desires.
Suppressed desire also tends to leak out sideways. In envy. In resentment. In sudden, outsized reactions to someone else’s good fortune. Envy is often a desire tapping on the window, saying, “That. I want that too.”
If you feel this kind of heaviness, why do I feel stuck in life may be the next thing you read.
A Practice to Reclaim One Desire Today
- Find the envy. Think of someone whose life stirred envy in you recently. Name exactly what you envied. Be specific.
- Translate it. Write, “I envy this because I desire…” and finish the sentence honestly.
- Check the source. Read it aloud. Does it feel expansive or tight? If tight, ask, “What do I really want underneath this?” and write again.
- Give permission. Say aloud, “I am allowed to want this.” Notice what happens in your body.
- Take one delighted step. Do one small thing today that honors the desire. Research it, save a picture of it, tell someone you trust.
One reclaimed desire changes the way you feel about all the others. Your soul learns it is safe to speak.
Repeat this with a new envy each week. Within a month you will have a small collection of reclaimed desires, and you will notice that envy itself begins to soften. It turns into curiosity, and then into inspiration. Other people’s lives become proof of what is possible for you.
Is It Wrong to Want More?
Wanting more is how life grows. A seed wants to be a tree. A child wants to walk. You want to expand into more of who you are.
More love, more beauty, more freedom, more money, more impact. When these desires rise from your soul, they carry your gifts out into the world. A delight shared is a delight squared, and it comes back to you ten thousand fold. Your fulfilled desires bless far more than you.
I have watched a client sell his technology company for over $100M after a year of our time together. I have watched another client 4x her income in under 2 years. Every one of those results started with someone giving themselves permission to want more.
When you are ready to move a clear desire into form, my complete guide on how to manifest shows the whole path. And if you are still discovering what you want, start with how to know what you really want.
Questions You May Be Asking
Is desire a bad thing?
Desire is sacred. It is the creative force of the soul, the same impulse that brought the universe into being. Desire that comes from fear or a wound can feel painful, and it points to a deeper soul desire waiting to be honored.
What are suppressed desires?
Suppressed desires are wants you have pushed down so long you barely feel them: the dream you stopped mentioning, the longing you called unrealistic. Holding them down costs energy and often leaks out as envy, resentment or a feeling of being stuck. Naming them gives that energy back to you.
Is it wrong to want more?
Wanting more is how life grows. When the desire rises from your soul, it carries your gifts into the world and blesses others too. A delight shared is a delight squared, and it comes back to you ten thousand fold.
Is desire spiritual?
Yes. Desire is the soul pointing toward the life it came here to create. Mystics across traditions write of holy longing, and the Psalms speak of the desires of the heart as something to be given. Desire is delight leaning toward form.
Your Desire Is Holy
The longing in you was placed there on purpose. It is your soul’s way of pointing toward everything you came here to create and share.
Let yourself want, dear one. Fully. Out loud. The universe delighted itself into being, and it is still delighting through your desire.
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When you are ready to reclaim the desires you were taught to hide, book The Shift, one private session with me where we find the pattern underneath your desire and clear it together, live.
