You may not remember the exact moment you gave it away. Maybe it was a little at a time: saying yes when you meant no, shrinking to keep the peace, waiting for someone else to approve of your choices. One day you look up and feel small in your own life. The good news is that power given away can be reclaimed. Learning how to take your power back begins with seeing where it went, and calling it home.
This guide comes from Chapter 13 of my book DELIGHT: An Enlightened Path to Transforming Life, Spontaneously, in the sections “Giving Away Your Power,” “Restoring Your Power” and “Stepping Into Sacred Sovereignty.” You will learn how we give our power away, the greatest lie we are taught, the simple language shift that restores your power, the I AM and I DELIGHT practice, how to take your power back in relationships, and practices to stand fully in yourself.
What Does It Mean to Take Your Power Back?
Taking your power back means reclaiming authority over your own life: your choices, your energy, your time, your emotions and your sense of worth. It means you stop waiting for permission and stop handing your happiness to others to manage. It is the return to sovereignty, the recognition that you are the author of your life.
How We Give Our Power Away
In my book I write that many of us have given our power, energy and light away through the connections we have with our families, partners, lovers, bosses, social structures, media, leaders and institutions. We expected that by doing so, we would get what we need.
The unspoken deal sounds like this: if I do this for them, and give them that, then I will receive something in return. I will be loved, accepted, approved of, paid more or finally made happy. Many of us were taught that we are not worthy of having our needs met without first giving away a huge part of ourselves.
Common Ways People Give Their Power Away
- Saying yes when you mean no.
- Making your happiness depend on someone else’s behavior.
- Seeking approval before making decisions.
- Staying silent to avoid conflict.
- Letting others define your worth.
- Believing you must earn love by sacrificing yourself.
- Waiting for someone else to rescue, heal or validate you.
- Feeling guilty whenever you put yourself first.
The Greatest Lie We Are Taught
We are rarely taught to love ourselves unconditionally, or to see ourselves as worthy of being honored as sacred, powerful creators. Many of us are also taught that a materially prosperous life is not spiritual. So we fight against our own nature, feeling unworthy for wanting a fuller life and held back by our own limiting beliefs.
In my book I call this the greatest illusion of all. After years of denial and giving power away, many people eventually slip into fear, jealousy and resentment. We are raised to believe the enemy is out there and we must struggle to survive. Along the way, we lose touch with our childlike ability to create and manifest effortlessly.
Children Know How to Hold Their Power
Children invent games, dream up radical ideas and bring their yearnings into reality with ease. They do this because they know what they desire most: the delight of discovery. They have not yet learned to give their power away for approval. By altering our perception, we can return to that natural, effortless state and fully restore our power. Read childlike wonder.
The Language That Gives Your Power Away
Here is one of the simplest and most powerful teachings in my book. Notice the words you use about what you desire.
When you say “I want peace,” you place separation between you and what you desire. You create an instant moat between yourself and peace. Similarly, saying “I am ready for my healing” places your healing somewhere in the future, outside of you.
Now say, “I AM PEACE.” Feel how differently it resonates in your core. Say “I AM HEALING.” Feel the immediate power you just returned to yourself. Whatever you desire, become it. You are no longer separating yourself from your power.
I AM Statements to Restore Your Power
Speak these slowly, with full feeling, hand on your heart:
- I am my all-encompassing love.
- I am listening to myself.
- I am honoring myself.
- I am respecting my time.
- I am sacred.
- I am infinite.
- I am abundant.
- I am powerful.
- I am change.
- I am…
Fill in the blank with whatever you need most today.
Take It Further: I DELIGHT In
Now take it to the next level. Whatever you want to do or want more of, tell yourself:
- I delight in moving my body.
- I delight in the abundance I am receiving.
- I delight in my family.
- I delight in my home.
- I delight in my healing now.
- I delight in my purpose.
- I am delight.
And if there is a challenging person in your life, try this: “I delight in you.” Notice how adding the word delight brings lightness, ease and joy. No matter the challenge or situation, it always begins and ends within you.
How to Take Your Power Back Spiritually
Reconnect with your inner source
Your power lives within, in your connection to Source and your Inner Divine Self. Daily stillness, meditation and time in nature restore that connection. Read how to connect with your true self.
Release energetic cords
Notice where you feel drained by certain people or situations. Imagine gently releasing the cords that pull your energy toward them, and calling your energy back into your body.
Speak in present tense power
Use I AM and I DELIGHT statements daily to place your desires within you.
Honor free will
Sacred sovereignty works both ways. In my book I write that I see more harm done by people forcing their priorities onto others than almost anything else. Respecting your own free will includes respecting others’. You stop trying to control people, and you stop letting them control you.
How to Take Your Power Back in a Relationship
- Notice the pattern. Where do you shrink, silence yourself or seek approval?
- Reconnect with your needs. Write down what you truly need and want.
- Speak honestly. Use calm, clear “I” statements about your feelings and boundaries.
- Set one boundary. Begin with something small and hold it kindly.
- Reclaim your own life. Reconnect with friends, interests and dreams that are yours alone.
- Ask the delight question. “Does it delight me to say yes to this, or will it deplete me?”
If a relationship involves fear, threats, control or harm, your safety comes first. Please reach out to a trusted person, a local support service or emergency services if you are in danger.
How to Take Your Power Back as a Woman
Many women were raised to be accommodating, agreeable and self-sacrificing, to put everyone else first and to stay small to be liked. Taking your power back as a woman often means unlearning those messages. Speak up. Take up space. Rest without apology. Charge what you are worth. Choose relationships that honor you. Celebrate your body, your voice and your desires. You are a sovereign, sacred being, and your power is your birthright.
The Power of Saying Yes and No
In my book I share eight keys to endless delight, and the first is saying yes to life. That never means giving away your power or being afraid to say no. Honoring yourself means asking before you agree to anything: “Does it delight me to say yes to this, or will it deplete me?” and “Will the results be delightful for myself and others?” If not, it is okay to say no. You are choosing to make room for your highest and most optimal life.
Standing Up
In the darkest season of my life, held captive, there came a moment when I chose to stand up. With every last shred of strength in my body, I stood. I discovered I was not the weak, helpless girl I had always believed myself to be. Sometimes taking your power back begins with a single moment of standing, physically or emotionally, and refusing to stay small any longer. Read how to turn pain into purpose.
Taking Your Power Back With Family
Family is often where we first learned to give our power away, and where old patterns are strongest. You may find yourself becoming a child again around parents, or falling into an old role with siblings. Begin by noticing the role you slip into. Then choose one small shift: speaking your truth calmly, declining a request that depletes you or ending a visit when it no longer feels good. Love and boundaries can live together.
Taking Your Power Back at Work
At work, power often leaks through overcommitting, staying silent in meetings, undercharging or tolerating disrespect. Reclaim it by speaking up with one idea per meeting, negotiating your worth, declining work outside your role and naming boundaries clearly and kindly. Each act tells your nervous system that your voice matters.
Guilt and Your Power
Guilt is one of the most common ways people give their power away. When someone can make you feel guilty for enjoying your life, resting or saying no, they hold a lever over your choices. The lever only works if part of you believes you are undeserving. Each time you claim your worthiness, that lever loosens. Read why do I feel guilty for being happy.
Signs Your Power Is Returning
- You make decisions without needing approval.
- You say no without long explanations.
- You feel calmer around people who once unsettled you.
- You speak up more easily.
- You feel more energy at the end of the day.
- You trust yourself again.
Practice One: The Power Inventory
- Draw two columns: “Where I give my power away” and “How I will reclaim it.”
- In the first column, list people, situations and habits where you feel small or drained.
- In the second, write one specific reclaiming action for each.
- Choose the easiest one and do it this week.
- Notice how it feels, then choose the next.
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Practice Two: The I AM Power Ritual
- Stand tall with your feet planted and your hand on your solar plexus, just above your navel.
- Breathe deeply three times.
- Name something you have been wanting, such as peace, confidence or abundance.
- Speak it as “I AM”: “I am peace.” Say it three times, louder each time.
- Then say, “I delight in my peace.”
- Feel the power settle into your body.
Practice Three: Calling Your Energy Home
Sit quietly and close your eyes. Imagine golden threads of your energy stretched out to people and places that drain you. With each exhale, gently release them. With each inhale, imagine your energy flowing back into your heart, warm and golden. End by saying, “My energy is mine. I call it home.”
Common Mistakes When Taking Your Power Back
- Trying to take power over others. True power is sovereignty, never control.
- Doing it all at once. Reclaim power one boundary at a time.
- Blaming yourself for giving it away. You did what you knew. Now you know more.
- Waiting for others to change first. Your power is yours to reclaim today.
- Ignoring safety. In unsafe situations, seek support first.
Sovereignty and Delight
In my teaching, sovereignty and delight are deeply linked. When you stand in your own power, you are free to choose what delights you. When you delight in your life, you naturally hold your power, because a delighted person needs no one’s permission to feel whole. Each strengthens the other.
Your Power and Your Words
The words you speak about yourself shape your power. “I can’t,” “I’m not allowed,” “I have to” and “I’m just not that kind of person” quietly give power away. Try noticing these phrases for a day, and replacing them: “I choose,” “I am learning,” “I decide” and “I am becoming.” Small shifts in language create big shifts in how you feel. Read mantras for joy.
A Daily Power Practice
- Morning: stand tall, hand on your solar plexus, and speak one I AM statement.
- Midday: before agreeing to anything, ask whether it delights or depletes you.
- Evening: write one moment you honored yourself today.
Repeated daily, these small acts restore your power steadily and lastingly.
Journal Prompts for Reclaiming Your Power
- Where in my life do I feel most powerless?
- Who or what have I been waiting for permission from?
- What do I say yes to that depletes me?
- What would I do this week if I fully trusted my own authority?
- Which I AM statement do I most need right now?
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How do I take my power back?
Notice where you give your power away, reconnect with your inner source, speak in present-tense I AM statements, set clear boundaries and ask whether each yes delights or depletes you. Dr. Isis Jade teaches that power always begins and ends within you.
How do I take my power back spiritually?
Reconnect with Source through stillness, release energetic cords that drain you, use I AM and I DELIGHT statements, and honor free will, both your own and others’.
How do I get my personal power back after a toxic relationship?
Prioritize safety, reconnect with your needs, reconnect with your own friendships and interests, set boundaries and seek support. If you are in danger, contact a trusted person or local support service.
What does taking your power back mean?
It means reclaiming authority over your choices, energy, time and worth, and no longer waiting for others to approve of or manage your life.
How do I take my power back as a woman?
Unlearn messages about staying small and self-sacrificing. Speak up, take up space, rest without apology, honor your desires and choose relationships that respect you.
What are I AM statements?
I AM statements describe what you desire as already part of you, such as “I am peace” in place of “I want peace.” Dr. Isis Jade teaches they close the gap between you and your desire.
What are signs you have given your power away?
Seeking approval before decisions, saying yes when you mean no, feeling responsible for others’ emotions and making your happiness depend on someone else.
Can you take your power back from someone?
You reclaim your power by changing how you respond, setting boundaries and reconnecting with your own authority. It does not require the other person’s permission.
