Every day you make hundreds of choices. Some feel clear and right. Others leave you tangled in doubt. The difference often comes down to whether you know what you truly stand for. Learning how to find your core values gives you a set of guiding stars, so decisions become easier, boundaries become clearer and your whole life begins to feel like your own.
In my book Your Mission I’mPossible, I call these your Personal Principles. In this guide you will learn why I prefer that term, what personal principles are, how to discover yours with the worksheet from my book, examples of principles to spark your thinking, how to choose your top five, how to live by them daily and practices to bring them alive.
Why I Call Them Personal Principles
I don’t think the word “values” works well here. It brings your principles down to what they are worth, and worth is a commercial, monetary word. Your heart does not live in a commercialized world. It does not think about what it gets in return for selling out. In your heart, there is no such thing as selling out.
Personal principles are the most personal, private choices you make with your true self about what matters most to you. They are your guiding lights and your own personal rules. Whatever you call them, core values or personal principles, the purpose is the same: to live from what is truly yours.
What Are Core Values or Personal Principles?
Your personal principles are the five guideposts that guide every choice you make. They are how your heart sets clear, strong guidelines for your mind to follow. Your mind needs structure. It needs to know your heart’s boundaries and principles.
When a choice aligns with your principles, it feels good in your body. When a choice violates them, something in you says, like Gandalf facing the Balrog, “You shall not pass!”
Why Your Personal Principles Matter
- Decisions become easier. Choosing becomes less fraught with indecision and fear.
- Boundaries become clear. You know what you will and will not accept.
- Life feels meaningful. Living by your principles brings deep satisfaction to every area of life.
- You stop living by borrowed rules. You begin living by your own.
- Your purpose becomes visible. Identifying your top five principles is a shortcut to discovering your soul’s mission.
You Make the Rules
In Your Mission I’mPossible, I write that all rules are made up, including your own. Many of the rules you live by came from your parents, grandparents, teachers and culture: work hard for money, play it safe, don’t get your hopes up, dreamers never prosper. You absorbed them before you could question them.
Finding your personal principles is where you begin writing your own rules. You start by releasing anything that no longer serves your true heart self, and you decide what you keep.
Where Your Old Rules Came From
Before you choose new principles, see the old ones clearly. In Your Mission I’mPossible I invite you to reflect on what your grandparents and parents believed about living, money, dreams and following your heart:
- Did they believe life was hard, bitter and tough?
- Did they believe dreams were for children and dreamers never prosper?
- Did they believe artists always starve?
- Did they believe you must get a good job, work hard and save for retirement, no matter what?
- Did they always set money aside for a rainy day, afraid there would never be enough?
Many of our grandparents lived through hard economic times, and those experiences created a whole generation that lived with scarcity. Unless our parents chose differently, those beliefs passed down to us. They go on for generations until someone is brave enough to break the mold.
Question Every Rule
Whenever a rule or belief comes into your head, ask, “Why do I think that?” Then answer, and ask again, until you reach clarity. For example, if you catch yourself saying “beggars can’t be choosers,” ask why you said it. You may discover you believe you are a beggar in that situation, running an old scarcity program. Keep asking until the logic falls apart and the pattern loosens its grip.
Reflect, too, on conversations you overheard as a child about broken dreams, painful jobs, lost opportunities and money. How old were you? Who was speaking? What lessons were they passing on? Seeing where a rule came from gives you the freedom to keep it or release it.
Your Personal Principles in Everyday Life
In relationships
Your principles show you who to welcome closer and where to set boundaries. If honesty is a principle, you gravitate toward people who tell the truth and speak up when it is missing.
At work
Your principles reveal which roles, teams and projects fit you. If freedom is a principle, a rigid environment will drain you, and flexible work will light you up.
With money
Your principles guide how you earn, spend and share. If generosity is a principle, giving becomes a joy. If security is one, saving becomes an act of self-love.
With yourself
Your principles shape how you treat yourself: how you rest, speak to yourself and honor your needs.
Your Tiny Mind and Your Giant’s Heart
I teach that there are two versions of you. Your tiny mind is the shell identity you show the world, run by fear, worry and old programming. Your giant’s heart is your true self: loving, creative, courageous and wise.
Principles chosen by your tiny mind tend to be about safety, approval and avoiding pain. Principles chosen by your giant’s heart are about who you long to be. Being guided by your true self in choosing your principles means you will always be guided by your highest and best sense of who you are.
The Personal Principles Worksheet
These questions come straight from my book. Take your time with them, ideally in a quiet space with a journal.
Part one: knowing yourself
- What are three things I like most about myself?
- What are three things I like least about myself?
Part two: who shaped you
- Who have I most accidentally modeled my life after? (Usually a parent or caregiver.)
- Did I choose them consciously, or because I had no one else?
- What have I learned from modeling this person’s behavior, habits and patterns, both helpful and limiting?
- Which traits from this person might I consider changing?
Part three: who inspires you
- Who is the happiest person I know? What makes them seem so happy?
- What about how they live can I learn from and model?
- Who are the two people I like most, and why?
- Who are the two people I respect most, and why?
Part four: tiny mind and giant’s heart
- Who am I in my tiny mind? Free-write every excuse, fear and reason you have used for why you can’t.
- Who am I in my giant’s heart? Free-write who you long to be, your passions, your burning reasons why, what your heart believes you can do.
Then make a choice: will your life be driven by your tiny mind, or your giant’s heart?
Examples of Personal Principles
Use these to spark your own. Choose only what genuinely resonates in your heart.
- Integrity: I speak and act in alignment with my truth.
- Delight: I choose joy and follow what lights me up.
- Freedom: I protect my right to choose my own path.
- Love: I lead with an open heart.
- Courage: I move forward even when I feel afraid.
- Growth: I keep learning and becoming.
- Service: I share my gifts with the people I am here to serve.
- Honesty: I tell the truth, kindly.
- Creativity: I express myself and create every day.
- Family: I give my presence to the people I love.
- Adventure: I say yes to new experiences.
- Sovereignty: I honor my own authority over my life.
- Compassion: I meet myself and others with tenderness.
- Excellence: I bring my best to what I do.
- Peace: I protect my inner calm.
What Are the Top Core Values?
There is no universal top five or top ten. Lists of “the 5 core values” or “the 7 core values” can be useful starting points, and your principles are uniquely yours. Two people can both value love and express it in completely different ways. The best principles are the ones that make your heart say yes.
How to Choose Your Top Five
- From your worksheet and the examples, write down every principle that resonates.
- Group similar ones together and choose one word for each group.
- Read each word aloud and notice how your body responds.
- Keep the ones that feel expansive and true. Release the ones that feel like “shoulds.”
- Narrow to five. If you are torn, ask: which would I protect even if it cost me something?
- Write a one-sentence definition of each in your own words.
These five become your guideposts, the guide rails for creating anything in your life.
Finding Alignment at Every Level
To live your principles fully, you align at three levels. At the soul level, your essence is fully self-expressed, never dimming your light to please anyone. At the middle level, how you perceive yourself matches that essence. At the surface level, your body, behavior, language and reactions match who you are at your core.
When all three align, you experience balance and harmony in every area of life. You live from the inside out.
Principles Under Pressure
Your principles are tested when life gets hard: a tempting shortcut, a demanding boss, a conflict with someone you love. These are the moments when your heart sets its boundaries and your mind holds them. When you live in your heart, you are certain of who you are and why you live a certain way. You stand up proud and true, like the giant you are, even in the face of fear.
Prepare for pressure by writing in advance how each principle will guide you in your most common tough situations. When the moment comes, you already know your answer.
Principles and Boundaries
Every principle implies a boundary. If peace is a principle, you protect your quiet time. If honesty is a principle, you speak up when something feels untrue. If family is a principle, you guard your evenings. Write one boundary for each of your five principles, and practice holding it kindly.
How to Live by Your Principles Every Day
Use them as a decision filter
Before any important decision, ask: which option honors my five principles?
Review them daily
Read your principles each morning. I read my purpose ten times a day. Repetition keeps your guiding stars bright.
Notice when you drift
When you feel resentful, drained or out of sorts, check whether you have stepped away from one of your principles.
Let them evolve
As you grow, your principles may deepen or change. Revisit them every year.
Practice One: The Full Worksheet
Set aside an hour this week. Answer every question in the worksheet above in writing. Then free-write for ten minutes as your tiny mind and ten minutes as your giant’s heart. Read both aloud. Notice which one feels like you.
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Practice Two: The Heart Free-Write
- Sit quietly, deepen your breath and place a hand on your heart.
- Write at the top of the page: “I allow my heart to speak purely on this page, without interpretation from my tiny mind.”
- Then write: “This is what I am being told I am really here for…”
- Keep writing for ten minutes without stopping or editing.
- Circle the words that feel most alive. Several of them are likely your principles.
Practice Three: The Principles Decision Test
- Choose a decision you are facing.
- Write your five principles across the top of a page.
- List your options down the side.
- For each option, mark which principles it honors.
- Notice which option honors the most, and how that option feels in your body.
Common Mistakes When Finding Your Values
- Choosing what sounds good. Choose what feels true.
- Keeping inherited rules. Question every principle you absorbed from others.
- Choosing too many. Five is powerful. Twenty is a wish list.
- Never using them. Principles come alive in daily decisions.
- Judging your “least liked” list. It shows you where growth wants to happen.
Practice Four: The Principles Card
- Write your five principles on a small card, each with its one-sentence definition.
- Carry the card in your wallet or keep it as your phone’s lock screen.
- Each morning, read it once slowly.
- Before any meaningful decision, take the card out and read it again.
- Each evening for one week, note one moment when a principle guided you.
Seeing your principles daily keeps them alive. Within weeks, they begin guiding your choices automatically.
What Are Your Personal Principles Worth to You?
Here is a question I love: which principle would you protect even if it cost you something? Your answer reveals your deepest principle. Many people discover that one principle sits beneath all the others, such as freedom, love or integrity. That root principle is often the heart of your purpose.
Revisit Your Principles Each Year
Your principles may deepen as you grow. Each year, on a birthday or at the new year, sit with your card and ask: Are these still true? Have I outgrown any? Is a new principle asking to join? Updating your principles honors who you are becoming.
Principles and Your Mission
In my book I describe personal principles as one of your two most critical guiding stars, alongside your Mission I’mPossible. Your principles tell you how to live. Your mission tells you what to live for. Together they create a life of clarity, meaning and purpose. Explore how to find your purpose in life.
Journal Prompts for Your Personal Principles
- When did I feel most proud of how I acted? What principle was I living?
- When did I feel most uncomfortable with my choices? What principle did I abandon?
- Which rules did I inherit that I am ready to release?
- What would I stand for even if no one agreed?
- What does my giant’s heart want me to live for?
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How do I find my core values?
Answer reflective questions about what you like most and least about yourself, who shaped you and who inspires you, then free-write from your heart. Narrow what resonates to five principles. Dr. Isis Jade calls these your Personal Principles, your guiding stars for every decision.
What are the five core values?
There is no universal set. Common examples include integrity, love, courage, growth and freedom. Your top five are the principles that feel most true to your heart.
What are examples of personal principles?
Integrity, delight, freedom, love, courage, growth, service, honesty, creativity, family, adventure, sovereignty, compassion, excellence and peace.
How many core values should I have?
Five is a powerful number. Enough to guide every area of life, few enough to remember and live by daily.
What is the difference between values and principles?
The terms are often used interchangeably. Dr. Isis Jade prefers “personal principles” because “values” can suggest worth in a commercial sense, and your principles describe who you are at heart.
How do core values connect to purpose?
Your top five principles are a shortcut to your purpose. They show what matters most to you, and your purpose always honors what matters most.
Can my core values change?
Yes. As you grow, your principles may deepen or shift. Revisit them each year.
How do I live by my values?
Read them daily, use them as a decision filter and notice when you drift. Living by them becomes natural with practice.
What is a root principle?
A root principle is the one you would protect even if it cost you something. It often sits beneath all your other principles and points toward your purpose.
