A million people did not manifest a hurricane. A whole city did not vibrate an earthquake into its kitchens and hospitals. And you did not create everything that happened to you.
If you have ever lain awake at three in the morning asking “What did I do to attract this?”, this article is for you. Today I take apart the most painful teaching in the manifestation world, the idea that you caused every circumstance in your life, and I hand you back the power that is truly yours: your response, your recovery and your next chapter.
This is the written companion to the first episode of my Fight Series on Manifest with the Law of Delight. Listen to the full episode for the guided practice in my voice.
My Story, Flat and Fast
In my early twenties, I was abducted, held captive and trafficked for about nine months. I was tortured. I was nearly killed multiple times. And I escaped.
I did not attract a trafficker. I was a young woman who trusted someone I should never have trusted, someone who sabotaged my car in a parking lot and then offered to fix it. You don’t know what you don’t know. Someone made a choice. A whole system made a choice. I survived it.
Then in 1998, doctors told me I would never walk again. I said no. They told me I would be lucky to see thirty. I am fifty-two now.
When I went looking for answers in the spiritual world, here is what I heard over and over: “What vibration were you holding? What did you do to attract that?”
Think about what that question does to someone who just walked out of hell. It hands a survivor a second wound on top of the first: shame, blame and guilt, all tied up with a pretty little bow. That is victim blaming. And I’m done with it.
Point One: “You Manifested Every Circumstance in Your Life”
This is the big one. Some of the biggest names in self development teach that you created every loss, every illness, every person who hurt you and every violent act against you. It lands hardest on women and on underserved communities.
Let’s test it. I am a bioenergeticist. I study human resonance, animal bioenergetics and the bioenergetics of the planet. So picture a hurricane. A million people lose their homes, their families, their animals and their livelihoods. Whole ecosystems wash away. Did every grandmother, every baby and every dog in the yard wake up that morning and manifest a hurricane?
Picture an earthquake. The ground opens beneath a whole city: hospitals, schools, people on life support, dinner on the stove. Did every person in that city hold the same low thought on the same Tuesday?
Of course not. There are levels, and then there are levels of energetic forces at play. Weather, history, wars, economics, cultural systems and other people’s free will all move through your life. Some circumstances sit beyond your control. What you control is your own inner world: your response, your choices and what you create next.
The Garden After the Storm
Think of your life as a garden. You plant the seeds. You choose the tomatoes, the herbs, the vines and the roses. You water them and you pull the weeds. That is yours. That is creation.
Then a hailstorm rolls through and flattens half of it. Or a wildfire. Or a tornado. You did not create the hailstorm. You create what you plant next. You create how you tend the garden after the storm. You create what grows back.
And some of the most brutal storms arrive as betrayal from the people closest to us, the ones we trusted so deeply that they ripped the ground right out from under us. Those were their choices.
Yes, after a storm like that we sometimes crash out. We lose our emotional regulation for a while. That is a normal part of healing from trauma, so be gentle with yourself through it. What is fully yours is your recovery, your next growth and your next layer. And it is enough.
Point Two: “Everyone in Your Life Is Just You, Projected”
This teaching sounds so spiritual. Everyone is a mirror. Nobody else is real. They are all your creation.
Here is what it really is: puppeteering melodrama. It turns every human being into a puppet on your strings, with no will and no choices of their own.
Picture a puppet show. You are backstage holding the strings of all eighty puppets. Suddenly one puppet hits someone in the audience. Who does the audience blame? The one holding the strings. That is how this teaching treats your whole life. It hands you every string and then blames you for every hit.
Free will is real. Yours is real, and so is everyone else’s, including the people who chose to harm you. You are sovereign, and so are they. Sovereignty means they own one hundred percent of the consequences of their actions.
So you get to make a clear decision: here are my values, my ethics and my honor, and anyone who walks forward with me meets me there. You can’t control a disordered person. You can decide who comes close. Put the strings down.
Point Three: “What Vibration Were You Holding?”
This is the question that hurts people the most. It is the same script some investigators still use with assault survivors: “What were you wearing? Where were you? How did you bring this on?”
It is like your home being broken into and the officer asking what color your curtains were. “Well, you know, blue curtains attract burglars.” It is that absurd. It makes the victim the suspect and lifts every ounce of weight off the person who chose to do harm.
So here is the truth, and I want you to hold it close. After severe trauma, you need deep, real support and total gentleness with yourself. You reanchor in your self-concept. You heal your broken heart one piece at a time. Then, from that whole place, you create far better outcomes with new boundaries, new declarations and careful discernment.
That is the order. Healing first. Gentleness first. Then creation.
I refuse to teach you to hunt through your past for the “vibration” that caused your abuse. That road keeps you circling the wound. What I teach is how to go deep into it, clear it out, seal it and let it heal so fully that it never returns in another form.
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Point Four: What Is Truly Yours to Create
People hear “the Law of Delight” and expect something fluffy. It is the deepest universal law there is, the first law of creation: delight yourself fully in life, and you fulfill all your heart’s dreams and desires.
Read it closely. It speaks to what you do with your life from here: your delight, your choices, your creations. It never says you caused the storm.
Delight lived in alignment with your morals, values and ethics carries you to your highest potential. You delight the people you make commitments to. You keep your promises. You fulfill your goals. That is creation at full power.
I did not create my trafficker. I did not create the betrayals by people I loved. I did not create the doctor’s verdict in 1998. I created my escape. I created my no. I drew a line in the sand and declared, “Absolutely not. Never again.” I created who I became after.
Your response. Your recovery. Your next chapter. What delights your soul. What aligns with your values. Your mission, your purpose and your passion. That is your power, dear one. Take it back from the trauma, take it back from the past, and take it back from anyone who told you your pain was your fault.
Practice: Separating the Threads
Do this one at home, somewhere soft and safe where you can be alone. A bath with candles is perfect.
- Place one hand over your heart and one over your belly. Breathe in through your nose into your belly, hold for four, and blow it out. Then breathe into your diaphragm. Then into your heart.
- Picture two cords tangled together in one big knot. One is dark, heavy and moldy, holding every betrayal, every lie and every storm you never asked for. One is golden and glowing, holding your core, your dreams, your healing and your next chapter.
- Say: “Nothing is impossible. I am possible. Therefore, this is easy too.” Rest your hands over the knot and feel it begin to loosen.
- To the dark cord, say: “This happened to me. I was not the cause of it.” To the golden cord: “This is my path now.”
- Gently unravel them. Pull the dark cord all the way back to its source and say: “Let us heal this now. Let us release this now. I see you. I’ve got this now.” Send the source away in a bubble, then set the pile of dark rope alight and watch the ashes drift away. It stays with the ones who made those choices.
- Take the golden cord in both hands and pull it to its source. See everything you long for waiting there, and let it settle into your heart.
- Declare: “I create my response. I create my recovery. I create my next chapter. I take back my power. I claim me.” Feel the golden cord become shimmering armor around your body. Warm, steady and yours.
The Two-Column Page
Later this week, take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle.
On the left, write what was done to you, what you do to yourself and what you did to others. Own all of it. Just the facts, as flat as you can. One word per line is enough.
On the right, for every line, write one thing you are creating now: a morning walk, a boundary, a phone call to someone who loves you, a class, a song you sing in the car, a new opportunity.
Tear the page slowly along the line. Post the right side where you see it every day: your mirror, your fridge, your lock screen. Read it out loud daily and add to it as new creations arrive. Take the left side outside, burn it in a fireproof dish, and let it go.
By the end of the week, look at how full your right column is. That column is proof that you create every single day, even while you heal.
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Your Assignment This Week
Every morning, before your feet hit the floor, say this sentence once: “This happened to me, and I am not the cause of it.” Betrayal happened to me. Job loss happened to me. Illness happened to me.
Then name one thing you are creating that day, out loud. “Today I’m creating a new video.” “Today I’m applying for that job.” Seven mornings. Seven creations.
And if anyone hands you the old line this week, “What did you do to attract this?”, lean back, take a deep breath and say to yourself, or even to them: “There are levels, and then there are levels.” Then return to your golden thread.
Be so gentle with yourself. If this stirred up old pain, that is your heart finally being heard. Rest when you need to rest.
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Two Doors, Whenever You Are Ready
The free door: take my private emotional assessment. Five minutes, no email required, with clear insights and free resources matched to where you are.
The direct door: The Shift. Seventy-five private minutes with me on the one thing that matters most to you right now. We separate what was done to you from what you are creating now, clear the pattern together live, and you leave with your breakthrough.
And if you are in the ashes right now, Phoenix Rising is your companion, the book I wrote about rising all the way from the ash, brighter than before.
Frequently Asked Questions
Did I manifest my trauma?
No. Trauma comes from other people’s choices and from forces beyond any one person’s control. What you create is your response, your recovery and your next chapter. Healing comes first, with deep support and gentleness, and creation flows from there.
Is the law of attraction victim blaming?
The way it is often taught, yes. Telling a survivor they attracted abuse places the weight on the victim and lifts it off the person who caused harm. The Law of Delight speaks to what you create from here and never claims you caused the storm.
Do other people have free will in my reality?
Yes. Your free will is real and so is everyone else’s. Sovereignty means each person owns the consequences of their own choices. You decide who comes close and on what terms.
What can I control after something terrible happens?
Your inner world: your response, your boundaries, your recovery, what you plant next and what delights you. Start with one small creation each day and let the list grow.
Be delighted. 💋
